Humble serving bring glory to God

Serving God? Well that is one important calling for us. I mean God is indeed calling us to grow and serve Him spiritually. All the Christian book said the same thing. This include the Bible. But honestly how do we know what shall we do to serve God? Well for one thing, I came to learn. Everybody whom I met surely would come to me and tell me to serve God in church. I honestly was like, "huh"? How come serving God must always be in the church eh? Come to think of it. We are always serving the Christians. Is that the church meant when we are called to serve? If that the thing how can we do anything else for Him.
One thing we need to ask from God when it comes to serving is humbleness or meekness. One good example in the Bible about a man who serve God faithfully was Moses. Moses was a prince of Egypt who served God faithfully. He was saved from Pharoah's anger when Pharoah make a decree that every born Israelites babies must be thrown into the river. He was saved because God calls him out of nowhere to serve God. As he grow older, Moses met with his own ppl and saw that the Eyptian were bullying his own ppl. Without any 2nd thought, he rush to the Israelite's rescue and killed the Eyptian. That for me, is his first ministry. I mean his worldy ministry. In a way I believe he thought he was doing the right thing. Come on, he was killing his own so-called ppl, the Egyptian. I do not think that he can remember how his own childhood life was as one part of babies that Pharoah was trying to throw into the river. In fact, I do not believe that Pharoah's daughter would ever told him that he was her adopted son. It was never mentioned in the Bible. And I was thinking: "Who would ever want to kill anybody that is serving under him." It was like bringing shame unto himself, don't you think so? Ppl would no longer respect him anymore if he ever kill his own ppl. I mean that is my own opinion. It might be wrong.
Anyway because he thought he is doing right by killing the Egyptian, his own real ppl the Israelites is going against him. For me, it mean one thing. He might do it for God but it was not a right timing. So at the end, he flee to Midian. I do not know where this Midian is but I guess it was a place where good life is going to become a bad life. Cause even in Midian according to the Bible, the ppl there do not know who Moses was. (Imagine this. Moses was born in the Egypt and I do believe that he was famous because he was a prince of Egypt, the popular country during that time) Come to think of it, the seven daughter of the priest, Jethro in Midian whom Moses saved from the shepherd that try to drove the daughters away refer him as "Egyptian". He lose his title when he ran away from the world.
As he stays in the Midian longer, he was able to learn a lot of new things. He learn how to live a simple life. A life where it comes to contentent. A life where he would just let go of a lot of everything and live it all for God. I believed that he is a Christian for one thing, his father in law was Jethro, a priest. And he knows who God was because he hid his face from God when he met God. I mean if he were to be a non-believer he would not be scared to meet God face to face and would not have learnt that whoever saw God's face would die. In fact for one thing, he did not flee when he met God. I mean come to think about it, he was just standing there and wear the sandal when God says that the ground where he was standing was a holy ground.
I believe that he learns to be humble and because of that he rejected the offer God gave him and that is to lead the Israelites out of misery from Egypt. I mean come on.. Who do not want to accpet God's offer when He came personally to met the person face to face and offer the ministry to him. To cut the story short., at the end as we all know it, he had make one most famous ministry for God and that is to lead the Israelites out of Egypt (the world) and lead them all to the promised land. But the first he did was he learnt to become humble. As the famous word in the Bible says about Moses. It was written in the books of Numbers, chapter 12:3 that says "Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth." (NIV)
Althought he faces the persecution from his own ppl, he still go forward for God because he knows God is real and will save them from all trials. I was once like Moses as well. I was a very proud person (although I still have the proudness in me). I was into KDU Christian Fellowship where I was holding a high post there. As I study in KDU my popularity sort of increased. I even think highly of myself. And always think that I am right. Others are wrong. Always serve, serve and serve.. Perhaps to gain popularity. But then in the year of 1998, I fell. In the sense that all my popularity disappeared. I went deep deep down into misery. In fact you can called it suffering where ppl condemned me for doing badly in studies. Everything I said become anger to them. It was praise but that does not last long if we keep on holding into our proudness.
What I am trying to say here is this. It is good and okay to serve God. In fact I do believe we are serving God for one or another. But I am trying is this. Let us learnt to serve God first of all, with humble heart. When it comes to serving let us graciously think of others rather than ourselves the big one. Let us serve God with what we have and not what we do not have. Start with small dream and not big dreams. In fact let us start to give to other cheerfully and with thanksgiving with what we have. Let us think highly of others and not ourselves when it comes to serving. Make ourselves available if we want to serve but if we are not available it does not mean we would not bother. Think highly on God and not ourselves when we serve for we are not serving ourselves but we are serving God. In we think highly of ourselves why not we just called ourselves god. For we ourselves are the saviour of ourselves. If we ever proclaim that we need Jesus as our Saviour then give Him our best.
I came to learnt bout this. When we serve God, both our mind and spiritual thought are working together. But if we feed our own carnal mind more and less of spiritual in terms of serving God, we will be like worldly ppl worshipping their God with their mind. But when we open our spiritual mind when we serve God, we will live in God's glory. I mean God will lead us cause we give our spiritual mind to Him and allowing ourselves to be used by Him. One of the way is to see our heart when we serve Him. Is our motive pure for Him or are we doing it for our own glory? I mean I am also struggle with my mind. In fact I had been struggle with it since 10 years ago. One thing I learnt of how to serve Him is by living in humbleness. I mean of course we do give ourselves credit for what we are doing. Otherwise we will ended up like robots. I do not think God create robots, don't He? So perhaps by living in humbless and accepting our own mistakes is one of the way to live in humbleness. That is one thing I am currently learning right now cause I had been a good self denying for years oredi. Be honest to ourselves when we serve God so that we will live in more transparent life. Transparent life leads to humble ministry for God. Understand what we need and understand how we can help others in need. I do believe that by humble itself is a ministry cause how many Christians can start their ministry in humility. It's hard to get honest Christian and perhaps honest person compared to 20 years ago. Everybody live to cheat and bluff. The reason is to secure their life. I mean it's easy to say than done. But hey.. We are no perfect ppl after all. Why not start it now before we grow older cause as we grow older it's hard for us to change. =)
One thing leads to another. Serving God means be transparent and learn to give everything to God. Unable to do this, we will still be the same person we used to be. God bless... =)

Love does a wonder

I am a bit down recently. Well not much of down because of I want to but rather I was pretty tired of myself. Tired of being who I am. Tired of doing things that do not glorify God but I thought that I am glorifying God with what I does. A lot of time I do not think that I deserve the love because I lacked of it when I was younger. But now about 27 years had passed and I came to realised that God's love is more important than other things. I mean come to think of it. I had rejected God's love for the past 27 years and after that year had gone God still loves me. I mean how ironic is that. I would never do that. I mean if I were to show love, if that person reject it after a while I would say, "Sorry la. No more caring for you. After all it was you who reject my cares and concern and love."
Honestly saying, I got my limit when it came to loving someone or cares for them. I mean who doesn't. Well there is this someone who officially doesn't and He won't. And His name is Jesus Christ. I mean if He would to have limit in loving and caring, He won't die for us on the cross. I mean come on.. Dying on the cross is not something fun that ppl would do. It is the most embarrassing death a person can get. I would say worst than dying on the electric chair or hanging on the rope. At least both electric chair and hanging on the rope is done privately by the prison warden. But crucified on the cross is done publicly. Not just that you are to stripped half naked to let others see your whole body. That's what I can imagine through the movie of Passion of Christ and through Bible. To say that is not enough, Jesus can actually called down the angel if He wants to cause dying I believe is not one of the gods' idea of leading their followers. Unlike Christian's Jesus Christ of course. In fact most of them if they ever died, they died gloriously and not in (sounds) vain like Jesus' death. I mean of course after everybody's thought that He died in vain, He actually died glorifying. Because after that He came back to live and to take away our sin. I mean that for me is limitless love. Eternal love.
I do wish to live like Him but to some certain character that I had, I can't do it. I used to love myself cause I believe that I am good in showing love and showing care. But come to think of it now, I don't think that I am good enough. But because God's love is in me, no matter how not good am I, I am still willing to try to become better. Better so that I can be there for others. Doing the right thing in God's eye and glorify His name.
So I am currently learning to be loved by Him. Come to think of it I always do not allow myself to be loved by others. Even right now. But then I told God, I am willing to walk a thousand mile for Him, to be used by Him in any part of my life. If He ever wanted it. And thankfully enough He gave me the awareness of myself of what I had been showing and what I am not showing. Of course I had to say love does us a wonders. I mean if we really love our partner, we would walk a thousand miles for them. Even I believe Jesus did the same thing too. His thousand miles walk was to die for us. What bout us? Ours might not be the same thing like Jesus but if we ever did something small to those whom we love and cared for, I do believe that would be a good start. Like the title says: Love does a wonder. Well for one thing, it does a wonder. A wonder beyond imaginable. A wonder that I believe if we show it correctly would amazes God.
I was reading this passage of the Bible in the book of Matthew 8:5-17 where a Centurion was asking Jesus for help to heal his servant. I do not know how far is his house to where Jesus was standing. But one thing he told Jesus to do was to heal his servant from where Jesus was standing. For me I learnt this though. I believe this centurian had so many servant in his life. But he still choose to walk a thousand miles to ask Jesus to heal his servant. I do not know whether this servant was one of his favourite but he choose to love his servant no matter what and walking a thousand mile just for the servant can be considered for me as loving and caring. One word that really strucked me in this passage is this. Jesus was astonished by the faith and the cares (although the Bible is not clearly stated anything bout the cares of the centurion to his servant) of the centurian. I searched for the word astonished in Oxford Dictionary and it meant "surprise or impress greatly." I learnt this thing though. I mean God can still be astonished by our love for Him and by our thousand miles walk for Him. Imagine this. God knows our past, present and future. It was written in the Bible. But according to the book of Matthew, He was astonished. That's something to me actually. I was not thinking of it that way. But then I believe God is saying that, "Hey, I know your past, present and future but come and astonished Me with your love and faith for Me." I do not mean to say that He do not know how much we love Him or how much we have faith in Him but with the current love and faith for Him, are we wanting to love Him even more? Or just give up when troubles come? I also learnt this. Walk a thousand miles for Him also involves walk when troubles was blocking you. I believe when trouble comes, it actually meant it was a test to see whether your love for God does really work or was it just a verbal saying only. But hey there is a good news for us all. Walk a thousand miles for Him means we are not stagnant anymore but we are growing. As we are growing daily we are receiving more and more of His blessings in our life. Devil was always scared when we walk a thousand mile for God. This is because the more walk we have for Him, the harder the devil can mess around with us. It is something like a car. If we do not drive our car that often, our car can easily spoilt. But if we drive it often, the chance of it spoilt is there but less. The same thing goes with us. We will still be messy but lesser cause we are stronger in our walk with Him.
So I do believe love does a wonder and we can't learnt it from school or Bible College or even from ppl who love God. The truth is we can only learn it from Jesus Christ Himself, the ultimate Lover of God. We can actually taste the love of God from the Bible but I do not think this is enough considering that we are living in the end times where the world is getting more and more evil. But as long as we relying on Jesus Himself we would be able to taste of His love for us. For without Him, even if our love does a wonder, it would be a worldly wonder and not godly. In fact that love would not pleased Him as well. So let us learn to love Him by showing our love to others, one of the way to love Him. God bless.. =) Have a blessed weekend..

I need healing..

Today I had learnt a new thing in life. I mean I used to thought of it. But yeah.. Last week the topic was about Paul's thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment him (2 Corinthian 12:7). I kept on thinking about it. I mean what is this thorn in Paul's flesh actually is all about. And what actually a messenger of Satan can do to torment him. After all he is a human being and Satan cannot touch us. He can manipulate us. And a thought actually came into my mind.
First of all, what is thorn actually is? According to the Oxford Dictionary it meant a stiff, sharp-pointed woody projection on the stem or other part of a plant. Well for my own understanding, it can meant something that hurt us. I mean it is not necessarily physically but it can meant mentalily or even emotionally. In my point of view, what Paul was trying to say is that he was also human being. I mean a mortal human being that would die one day. He does do wrong things. He does know that he had temper, anger and bitter, just like the other normal human being. That, for my own opinion is his thorn. A thorn that the messenger of Satan was trying to torment him. He understands his own need in God. And because he knows his own need in God, he pleaded with God to take away his hurt and bitter and God (as we know His character) in His way, told him three times, that, "His Grace is sufficient for Paul, for His power is made perfect in weakness." (vs 9) And Paul's weakness (he did not really mentioned bout his weakness in the Bible but we all know he do have weaknesses) is to be used to glorify God and to shame the world and to turn ppl all the world to turn their eyes away from the world to God. And how in the world can the satan torment us? He presses the thorn deep even more and make our pain increased. I come to learn about this. When our finger were wounded by a thorn and this particular thorn is stucked in our finger, we will be hurt. After a while, it would not be so painful anymore. But if we ever moved our finger a little bit where the pain is very much in hurt, we will get the pain back. The same thing I believe is happening to Paul. I mean a lot of time satan is using our old hurt to make us wounded. Paul knows what is going on in his life but a lot of time he can't help it but to plead God to help him carry the pain away. And each time God would told him to relax and let Him do all the work. Because of that God's name is glorified each time we let out all our struggle and our thorn to Him to let Him settle cause He is the only One that can settle the problem for us.
Honestly saying, I may talk big when it comes to this point of my life. My thorn. But I would like to say that I am learning to let God does all the healing and I sit there and relax. Cause it was only through my thorn that God's name be glorified. I came to realised that I do have a lot of self issue that I need to settle with. Last time I was very good in lying to myself. Not just lying but more of manipulating myself to make myself feel good. And to add more burden to it, my ego is also helping my manipulation and lies became stronger. In fact, at some point of my life, I do think and believe that blogging bout my own pain and hurt is a package for me to become proud who I am even in the midst of negativeness. I mean for a lot of ppl, negativity is bad for them but for me, somehow or rather I felt good to be negative. It helps me become big. Become the focus on attention. As much as I dare not believe it, I do looking for attention. And satan is taking this chance to torment me with my thorn in my flesh.
So what I really want to say here is I want to change myself so that I can be God's glory and God's image. But I can't do it by myself. I do need help and help came from all of you. Without you all helping me, I guess that's the end of me. That I shall be possibly doomed to hell. And honestly saying I do not really like to share this to ppl cause of all the things, I am an egolistic person. But thanks to God, I want to change. To change to become a better person. To become a Godly person that I can be used to be source of blessing to the world. Thanks.
So with this I would like to end my blog by saying this: "If not because of God Himself doing something in my life, I wouldn't really want to change. In fact I would not want to because I rather I live with myself than with God. But because of God all things are change for His glory." Just like our beloved brother Paul the Apostle. He changed because he experience God. Not God experience him. Thanks.. God bless... =)

Another death..

Today is a very sad day for me. I had just lost something ere. It has been a very dear to me. The thing is it's my fault that this something had just passed away (literally). I did not feed it within three months time and last night it passed away. What to do.. =( Why do I have to face so many death? Haih~ Anyway it had been with me for quite some time. I had it with me since 2005 mid if not mistaken. We had quite a good memory together. But now it is gone. I do not know whether I should bury it or cremate it or even throw its' dead body away just like that.
It had been with me for a year and a half oredi and had been accompanying me to call Mun Yee, Joram and even some CF friends. In fact it had also been there accompanying me too to receive calls from Mun Yee and some CF friends. Anyway just now went to Hospital (DIGI Centre) in SS2 and acquire of what can I do to retrieve my beloved back. But the nurses (the customer services ppl, they called it) told me in order to retrieve it back, I need to pay a sum of RM70 a month to make it post paid. I was like, " what?" Pay RM70 every month to re-incarnate it? Not worth my money..
So what to do.. I need to let it die then. Let my beloved Digi Sim Card die. Forgot to top it up yesterday as yesterday was the last day it work before the 3 month of it expired had gone. Well what to do. RIP to the card then.. Anyway for those of you who had my DIGI number 016-6947855 stored in your phone, please delete it as it had become of no use to me and anyone of you. I would be buying a new DIGI Sim card when I bought a 2nd phone. And I am not having any intention to buy a second phone at the moment. So you can just forget bout it and delete my old number.
Got to go now.. God bless.. =)