Of late, I was kind of depressed. Perhaps it was myself, perhaps it was not. At work I was trying to be the nicest guy ever, in a way trying to be helpful in whatever situation I am in but somehow I felt that I had failed. I felt that people are trying to use me for their own purposes. But of course not all would do that to me but I just felt that is what was happening. Then my friends were trying to ask me to change job and join the corporate world of which I could earn more than what I am earning now.
Last week I went to church and Pastor Bernard Blessing from Ghana came to Glad Tidings Petaling Jaya and when he was prophesying he ask for a person whom he heard God calls (Pastor Bernard does not know the name) who are working in semi government company and wanting to serve God and perhaps open a public serving office in future and Pastor Bernard said that the person who were called would know it is him that God is calling. I do felt that I was the one since I am working for UTAR which is sort of semi government company since it is wholly owned by MCA. I to have the heart to serve God and people using my availability in the my office at this moment but guess what. I blow it away. I always wondered what God wants in my life. That my life as a Christian are kinda useless for Him to use me for. And I hardly have anybody come over me to be prophesied.
Anyway I do felt that a lot of people are material to tell me what to do. For example, when comes to job-wise, they would always ask me to earn big and earn big means working in corporate world. There would be tonnes of money there I can earn. Well I know I can succeed in life if I were to work in corporate world but do you think that there would be time to serve the Lord there? I mean when I talk bout serving I mean be honest Christian and be a Christlike Christian? Well it can be done though. I do agree with whosoever said that but then I do not have much time for any other things and when it comes to dealing with money there are a lot of chances of me being greedy and materialistic. I'd rather wait for God's appointed time that when He tell me to go, only then I will go. Otherwise I would go to another institution to serve God there since my current company is also another institution.
A classic Bible example for this matter would be King David. Please read
1 Samuel 16:1-23. In this chapter Samuel were just after mourning to God after Saul sinned against God. God tell him to look for the appointed one who will take over from Saul. He went to Bethlehem and look for Jesse's son. None of the seven son were the chosen one except for David who was the youngest and was herding sheep at that time. I would like that to be done on me. I mean being God's appointed one to serve Him whenever I am.
I have to admit working in corporate world is very tempting. I mean the money is big. Well I used to dream that big dream. I mean to earn big, get a beautiful wife, have big house and car and perhaps own my own audit firm since I am doing accountancy. Well I guess those dream were long disappear even before I managed to graduate. I find that dream although excellent, but then where in the world do I have the time to serve Him in whatever capabilities. Well you may said, why not while on the way to reach to the top, you do whatever you can for Him and then when you are a the top there, you can actually do bigger things for Him.
Well nice to say, nice to hear but is it easy to do? I felt a bit disappointed when churches nowadays use money as God's blessing to the congregation. Churches nowadays love to preach about money, how God uses money to bless others. So therefore let us keep on pray for more financial blessing. Well it is important and good to pray for that, but why don't we also ask & pray to God for more heart of God to be upon us. I find it very unrealistic to just pray for God to bless us financially. I believe that we should also include in our prayer, asking God to grant us a Godly heart, a heart that cares for those who are not rich, for those who sins etc etc. Sometimes when a certain Christian became rich they forgot about serving God. Instead they uses money to do other things.
I am kind of disappointing with our current political situation here in Malaysia. Christian politicians fight among themselves just to get fame and wealth. It does not matter they are from Barisan or Pakatan, I actually wondered do they actually fought for the rights of rakyat or just for themselves. There are even some Christians knowing that I support Barisan come to me and scolded me. Is it necessary? We are all one big family of Christ and we fight for the same matter which is for justice, integrity and rights of the rakyat. If a person supports Pakatan go ahead and support. Why argue? The argument does not unite us at all as a Christian. As a result the devil wins. Is that what we want? By saying that I hereby declare my support for Datin Linda Tsen from PBS. I do believe we need more Christian politician to serve the country with all their heart, which make me wondered is last week's calling from God to Pastor Bernard Blessing is for me? He (Pastor Bernard) just said the person is someone who are working in semi government company and who have the desire to serve the Lord, perhaps wanting to open a small public service in future and felt that it is impossible to do so. Well I do work in so-called semi government company. I do have the heart to serve the Lord and open a small public service (I never thought of it) but I do feel that I can hardly do anything big for Him. So out of the criteria, I do have three.. Hmmm...
