New destination

I had been thinking for quite some time oredi.. Well I had been thinking of what I should do bout my life. I am thinking deep into my life, my study life, my family life, my own life, whether spiritual life, physical life, mentally life etc etc.. Well as I believe that I have blogged bout it last time, I was offered a chance to transfer to Kampar next year for my job. Well I still undecided bout it though.. No one is actually forcing me but I am just too scare to make decision for myself.
Honestly in my life, whatever things I say I am not scare or afraid I actually mean it. But there is one thing I would say I am scare or at least freak out of is making decision. I do not mean making decision for others though but rather for myself. Making decision for others tend to be easier and precdictable than making decision for myself. I had makes lotsa decision last time but rating of it, out of 5 decision I make, 3 to 4 tends to be a failure. I do not know why. I can't imagine myself in future. What would I be or where would I be heading in future? With my current condition I tend to live a low-self esteem life and do not believed I would rise up. Well a lot of time God need to make me think positive first before He can actually brought me up to where I should be heading. And lotsa time I received discouragement even before I reached my destination which would normally makes me wanting to give up before I even started my journey or even while my own way to the destination.
Basically I am praying hard for God to direct me now. After all these times of thinking nad praying, I hope I know where God wants me to go now. I am just waiting for His confirmation. That's all.. Wish me all the best.. May He able to guide me and lead me to His way and not mine. Gtg now.. God bless... =)