Ambition

Ambition? Future? What would I see myself in the future? Well was chatting with a colleague of mine yesterday and she was asking this question. What is my ambition? Well the question is very easy and simple and sounds like high school type of question. But the answer is hard and long. Never really thought of it now since the first day I start working. Perhaps I do think about it but then as day by day passed by, my ambition would very much different oredi.
Last time, I was into money and earning big bucks. Wanted bungalows, title of 'datuk", owns a big company, become famous etc etc.. But now as times passes by and after gone through a year of working, my passion for all those desires had been long disappear. What I want to do now is to seek God and glorify Him and Him alone. Well nothing much that I want in my life though. If I ever get a car which I would definitely get one day, I do not expect BMW, Mercedez etc etc.. Rather what I wish for would be just Malaysian Made Proton. The cheapest car that I hope to get would be Perodua Myvi and later on perhaps a Proton Wira would be good enough. If I were to look for a place to stay, I would still choose Damansara Jaya. Honestly saying I would get gain the title "datuk" once my children got married and have their own kids. Well honestly my wife would not become a "datin" but rather she would become "nenek". If I were to own a company which I still hope to get would be a farm. A big farm. Well I am the CEO of the farm and I can plant all sort of crops and trees. And guess what? I would hire a few staffs which eventually would become my subordinates. I am also the finance manager and all sort of manager. What I hope for would be able to own my own piece of land. =) Not bad right? I am still the CEO of the farm.
Anyway right now, I am want to live for Him to serve others. I do not think that I own anything but by His grace, I want to be like Moses and King David. I mean Moses was born of being no one. And because his parent saved him from being killed by the Egyptian soldiers, he became the Prince of Egypt. And guess what? He blew his high ranking post as Prince of Egypt away by saving his fellow Israelite brother from being killed by the Egyptian soldier. And he ran to Meridian to become a shepherd. That's something what I want to do. I am sick and tired of the world (if I have a desire to seek the world thing, I can succeed but I choose to blew away the dream and to become someone of lower ranking. If I ever want the world thing, I can choose to run after money and other worldly stuff. But guess my desire for all that lost oredi.
Anyway Moses was called one day by God at the burning bush. God asked him to guide and help the Israelites and to lead them away from the Egyptian and to live in the promised land that God had given them. Eventually he lead one million Israelites away from Egypt. Wow!! That's a huge amount of ppl. I want to be like that. Being used by Him to do wonders.
And then King David. He was a shepherd boy before he was called by God to become a king. From no one he became God's intrument to lead the Israelites towards Him. I mean that's one thing a small shepherd boy could do for God's glory and honour. I want to be like that too..
So I guess when my colleague asked me yesterday what is my ambition, well I just answer her I got none. Just want to live a simple life. Well indeed I do not have any big ambition. My ambition is quite different than the normal others. Others fancies materialism and I also fancy those but not to that extent. Even I want a camera phone. I told my bro to get me a 2nd hand camera phone since I could not afford 1st hand phone. He told me before that my life is too simple. I felt that what is the point of us struggling fancy so many material things but at the end the time frame of us enjoying it is so limited. Honestly saying even my Nokia 8250 which I had been using since 16 months ago had been so rusty (I mean the casing) that I do not even want to change its casing. Wait till it totally spoilt first before I actually get a new casing. For info, even my Nokia 8250 is 2nd hand mobile phone. =) Anyway for the colleague, she do not understand my ambition. So why bother telling her? =)
Anyway lab is closing in half an hours time. Wanna check up my friendster for a while. So that's all for this time. God bless.